Monty Chicken's Frying Circus: Easter 2010

MONTY CHICKEN’S FRYING CIRCUS

A HopeKids LIVE Easter Sunday Skit

Written by Abraham Yeo Yeu Ann

1 Apr 2010

© 2010 Hope Church Singapore.

PREMISE

We can have a circus. Call it Monty Chicken's Frying Circus... maybe an evil ringmaster (Monty) is trying to train chickens to do some egg-related stunts... and oh, if the chickens don't meet his standards, he'll fry them and serve them at his conveniently-located-next-door CFC restaurant: Cheap Fried Chickens.

Then Easter is coming up! so the ringmaster has the idea of boosting sales by training the chickens to do an Easter skit to end in a grand chicken can-can dance... with feathers flying everywhere... in order to accomplish his crazed plans, he forces the chickens to massively increase egg productions... the chickens are exhausted.

Then... a rooster crash-lands, discovers the chickens, and tries to tell them that a better world is out there... he offers to lead them to freedom... the chickens are delighted... but a lot of cock-ups (get the joke?) happen as the chickens are too excited to perform... so Monty the crazy ringmaster gets really mad and devises a heinous plan to set his chickens in their rightful place once and for all... he sets up a HUGE frying pan... and prepares to fry all the chicken who haven't met his standard...

but at the last min the rooster steps up and offers to lay down his life for his chicken friends... the ringmaster laughs...and spares the lives of all the chickens... and proceeds to fry the rooster... and everyone is really sad... when suddenly *BOOM!* the fryer explodes and the rooster comes out very alive... the ringmaster is terrified... and thinks it's the ghost of the rooster he fried... and runs away screaming...

the rooster then tells the chickens how he escaped... he tripped over the power supply to disconnect the fryer... and also FLEW around in the fryer... and then he goes on to explain to the chickens that Easter is not about eggs... but about the resurrection of Jesus... really from the dead...

in delight the chickens all decide to set the rooster as the new ringmaster and change it to Monty Chicken's FLYING CHURCH... as they learn flying so that they can fly all over the world to tell everyone about Jesus. =D

Ripple Conference 2010 Opening Skit - The Karate Girl

Ripple Conference 2010 Opening Skit - The Karate Girl

Characters
---------
DANIELLA - Ramen Girl
MIYAGI
BULLY
2 henchmen

Props
------
Tablecloth
Plastic plates and bowls and chopsticks
Wok + frying
Apple
Banana
Table
Chopper (if cannot, then use frying pan)
Ramen noodle packets
Apron
Mop
Dishcloth
Paintbrush

Door frame (to get from deco) / Screen



Scene 1
---------
NARRATOR: DANIELLA is a timid young girl running a little ramen shop. And unfortunately, there is a gang leader who keeps BULLYing her and demanding protection money...

[DANIELLA is dressed in a demure floral dress with a nice hanky pinned to her. She is sweetly singing 'I Love You Jesus', while preparing ramen.]

[BULLY with the requisite '40s attire for a gangster]

BULLY: (bellows) HA!

DANIELLA sees the BULLY coming. She frantically tries to pull the shutter doors down, but the BULLY pushes up the shutter door with just one finger.

The BULLY enters the shop, struts around. He demands protection money... and finally takes an apple to eat. When DANIELLA protests, he does a lot of kungfu kicks to intimidate DANIELLA. And then he yanks the tablecloth off the table, while DANIELLA sobs as she picks up all the broken pieces.]

DANIELLA: I feel so helpless. What can I do? (thinks hard...) Ah. I shall learn gongfu too!

NARRATOR: So DANIELLA decides to learn kungfu too. She buys all the gongfu movies to learn. Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Wong Fei Hong, Ip Man, Jackie Chan... and even Kungfu Panda! And she tries all the impressive big moves, but gets them wrong. 

[DANIELLA tries to practice with a pair of nun-chucks (use the Wii Nunchuck)... but bonks herself on the head. Then she tries to do karate chop on a chopping board... but hurts her hands. Then she tries tai-chi... and sprains her back.]

DANIELLA: Persevere on! Press on! no pain (ouch) no gain! Hai-yahh!!... I'm back!!! (kicks) Ooooh! My back!

NARRATOR: Finally, after a couple of weeks of watching endless re-runs of gongfu movies and practising, she attempts to have a show-down with the BULLY.

BULLY: (swaggers into shop) Ah... pretty girl... 东西在哪里？

DANIELLA: Huh... what stuff... I don't know what you're talking about!

BULLY: (suddenly slams table furiously) 快拿出来！

DANIELLA: Sir, could you please speak proper English?

BULLY: Hah... so you think you can threaten me issit? (flexes muscle) I have a BLACK BELT.

DANIELLA: I... I'm not scared.

BULLY: Hah... so you not scared... (slams table) STILL NOT SCARED?

DANIELLA: (starts trembling) I STILL NOT SCARED...

BULLY: You better hurry up and pay me protection money... or else I will beat you up.

DANIELLA: I'll... I'll...

BULLY: (sneers) You'll what? SCREAM issit?

DANIELLA: I'll ... fight!

BULLY: HAHAHAHAH! WHAT A JOKE!

DANIELLA nervously tries to punch the BULLY twice. 

But the BULLY diverts her punches effortlessly and smoothly.

BULLY: So weak! So lim-peh! Come... come... I am not a BULLY... I let you purposely punch me.

DANIELLA tries punching the BULLY again. But the BULLY snorts.

BULLY: You punch my belly also no use. I am too WELL-ARMOURED. I have a SIX-pack here. (pats belly) BWAHAHAHAHA!

DANIELLA: GRRRR...

BULLY: Oh. So you angry now? Gimme your worst!

DANIELLA tries to do a crane kick... but BULLY quickly pokes her in the eyes.

DANIELLA cries.

BULLY: (grabs a banana, peels it and eats and as a gesture of contempt, throws the banana peel onto DANIELLA's head. He then saunters off stage - and passes by MIYAGI who is at the other end of the stage, sweeping the corridor. MIYAGI is puzzled and goes over to investigate. He tries to comfort DANIELLA.)

MIYAGI: DANIELLA-san! (notices DANIELLA's red eyes) What happened?

DANIELLA: (tries to turn away from MIYAGI) Uh... hullo Uncle MIYAGI... nothing's wrong.

MIYAGI: Sigh. Look at the mess! Of course, something is wrong.

DANIELLA: (silence)

MIYAGI: (gently) Did someone... BULLY you today?

DANIELLA: (stands for a moment silent and then breaks into fresh sobbing)

MIYAGI: I see your answer is yes.

DANIELLA: Sorry Uncle, I need to close shop today. (runs off stage)

MIYAGI: (to audience) Oh dear. I think I will go to her shop tomorrow to see what's wrong.

SCENE II

The next day, DANIELLA is very silently packing her goods on the table. As she packs, she looks up from time to time to glance around nervously to see if theBULLY will come back again.

And then... as she goes back to her task to pack... MIYAGI comes into the shop quietly. He sees her packing her stuff, and softly taps her on her shoulder.DANIELLA shrieks and drops the tin-cans she is holding.

DANIELLA: (panicking) EEEK! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't try to fight again! I'll give you all my money! (grabs chopper)

MIYAGI: It's ok, DANIELLA-san... I'm Uncle MIYAGI!

DANIELLA: (calming down) oh.... I'm so sorry, Uncle MIYAGI. I wasn't expecting you...

MIYAGI: (eyebrows arched) Expecting someone else?

DANIELLA: Well... yes...

MIYAGI: And by that, I don't suppose that person is a friend of yours.

DANIELLA: (outburst) Of course not! He's mean! He's ugly! He demands my money! He throws my things all around the place! And if I call the cops... I'm afraid he'll BURN my shop down!

MIYAGI: (gravely) Who is he? Where's he now?

DANIELLA: (turns pale) Turn around, Uncle MIYAGI. He's coming in.

BULLY: (bangs door) HO THERE! O$P$! WHERE IS MY PROTECTION MONEY?!

DANIELLA: (stammers) I'm so sorry... I really don't have any money...

BULLY: (slams table) Ha! 3 days I gave you. You want me to BURN your shop down?

DANIELLA: (wringing hands) No, no... please don't... it's only the start of the day... please... I will get more money after the customers come in...

BULLY: NO CUSTOMERS! SO YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL ME? (suddenly sees MIYAGI) Oh. A handsome looking customer I see you've got today.

MIYAGI: Leave Danielle-san alone.

BULLY: What if I don't?

MIYAGI: Leave her alone - or else.

BULLY: Oh-ho. so you want to fight issit? Kua si mi? Ai tio HOOT ah? I HAVE A BLACK BELT YOU KNOW.

MIYAGI: And I have an Armani belt. What's the point?

DANIELLA: (giggles at this unexpected wisecrack)

BULLY: (flushes in surprise) The point is... the point is... WELL! This is THE point! (attempts to punch MIYAGI.)

But MIYAGI grabs the BULLY's fist, pokes his arm and forces his palm open... and administers a hearty slap to the wrist.

BULLY: AHHHHHH! MY WRIST! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

MIYAGI: That was just a warning slap to your wrist. Play no more.

BULLY: YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR THIS. I WILL COME BACK AND BURN YOUR SHOP DOWN, D'YOU HEAR? (staggers out of the shop, holding his wrist in pain.)

DANIELLA: Oh... Uncle Miyagi! You were MARVELLOUS! Can you teach me?

MIYAGI: But I really don't think I can teach you.

DANIELLA: Oh! Why?

MIYAGI: (pauses, thinking back to his yakuza days) It's been such a long time since I last -- discipled someone.

DANIELLA: Sensei! Please! (bows respectfully) Because I really don't want that BULLY to come back to my shop... or anyone else's shop anymore. How else will I protect myself if you are not around?

MIYAGI: (ponders for a while) Well...Daniella-san, since you are so eager... I think I'll give you a chance.

DANIELLA: Oh! Thank you so much, Uncle MIYAGI!

MIYAGI: But you must promise me one thing.

DANIELLA: What is it, sensei?

MIYAGI: That you will do everything I instruct you to do, no matter how small it may seem.

DANIELLA: Yes, sensei!

MIYAGI: (does a martial-arts stance) Now let us begin.

DANIELLA runs off-stage.

MIYAGI: Huh?

DANIELLA runs on-stage again, with all the DVDs of the movies.

MIYAGI: Huh?!

DANIELLA: Uncle Miyagi, can you teach me all these BIG, POWERFUL, EXCITING, WONDERFUL, AMAZING moves?

MIYAGI: Wait. What was your promise to me?

DANIELLA: OH... *blushes* that I will do everything that you instruct me to do, no matter how small it may seem.

MIYAGI: Right. (whips out a mop) We're going to mop the floor.

DANIELLA: HUH?

MIYAGI: (arches eyebrow) Well?

DANIELLA: (respectfully) Oh ok... as you say, Uncle MIYAGI.

MIYAGI: Now... watch me mop the floor.

[MM: play Huo Yan Jia theme song]

MIYAGI mops the floor with some special moves.

DANIELLA follows clumsily.

MIYAGI shakes his head.

MIYAGI: Try again!

DANIELLA: (pouts)

MIYAGI: (gently) No, no... do it this way. (He proceeds to wax the car, paints fence... and as they train together, you can see a certain affection blossom between master and student. Little things together... like how Jake Sully and the princess worked together in Avatar]

At the end of the Huo Yan Jia song, MIYAGI is very pleased.

MIYAGI: Well done, DANIELLA-san! You can mop, you can wax, you can paint... now you are ready to do the big things.

DANIELLA: Huh? But I've only just done household chores...

MIYAGI: Follow my actions.

DANIELLA: Ok... 

MIYAGI: Mop here, mop there... (does a martial arts move with the mop)

DANIELLA: Whoa!

MIYAGI: Wax on, wax off. (does a defensive karate move using the same hand motions) Paint up, paint down... DANIELLA-san, do you see what you've been doing all the while? Keep doing the small things, because eventually you will see that they are actually the Big Things.

DANIELLA: (stunned for a few seconds) WOW... (sudden burst of gratitude) Domo arigatou, sensei! (bows happily)

MIYAGI: (returns bow) No, no, DANIELLA-san. I am just your neighbour. Love your neighbour as yourselves, that's what our dear Lord Jesus said.

DANIELLA: (surprised) Oh! You are a Christian too?

MIYAGI: (nods head)

DANIELLA: Wow! I am one too!

MIYAGI: (pleasantly surprised) You too?

DANIELLA: (shyly) Yes... but I am so scared to tell others about Jesus.

MIYAGI: Oh, how come?

DANIELLA: I'm afraid... I mean, I'm afraid people will make fun of me...

MIYAGI: DANIELLA-san. We tell others one person at a time. And then you have two! Two tell four, four tell eight, eight tell sixteen...till the whole world hears about Jesus!

DANIELLA: Wow! I didn't think of that! So the small things can become big things...

MIYAGI: DANIELLA-san. Keep doing the small things, because eventually you'll find out that these small things are really The Big Things.

DANIELLA: (happily) Hai! Amen! Yes, sensei!

They stand there, happily for a few seconds. And they realise that there's a mutual feeling between the two of them that has awoken... but even though their eyes and body language communicate their mutual liking... they are too shy to say it out loud.

[MM: can play some super-cheesy love song for comedic effect for a minute.]

Suddenly, a loud bellow is heard.

BULLY comes in with two henchmen carrying jerrycans. They open their jerrycans, and splash it all over the shop. They light up the kerosene.

BULLY: Let it burn! Let the shop burn! Burn it! Burn it all! Burn, Trojans, burn! (wide-eyed glee) Bwahahaha! (imitates the villain king in the movie Troy...)

DANIELLA and MIYAGI run out of the shop with their hands to their noses.

DANIELLA: NOO!!! MY SHOP!!!

MIYAGI rushes to stop the henchmen from pouring more kerosene, and beats them back.

BULLY: (pushes aside the two henchmen) You two are useless! Let me settle you!

MIYAGI takes a ready stance.

BULLY pulls out a gun and shoots MIYAGI in the legs. MIYAGI screams and drops to the ground in pain. 

DANIELLA: Hey! That's not fair!

BULLY: Oh, so you want me to play nice? Very well... (tosses aside gun) bring it on, you sweet young thing! (leers lecherously as he beckons suggestively with his hands) I have my black belt you know...

DANIELLA looks helplessly at MIYAGI.

MIYAGI: You'll have to take him on yourself. I can't help you. But God will! Now GO!

DANIELLA's face becomes very determined.

DANIELLA: Hai and Amen. (grabs a nearby mop)

MIYAGI smiles.

BULLY: WAHAHAHA! A MOP?! (his henchmen laugh together with him) HEY, HELLO AUNTIE! YOU THINK WHAT? THIS IS A TOILET ISSIT? WAHAHHAA!

DANIELLA: Yes, I'm going to clean the toilet... YOUR TOILET! Hoooi-yaah....

[MM: Plays Chinese opera battle music, complete with clash of cymbals]

DANIELLA does a Chinese opera-like dance with the BULLY. She swiftly dispatches the two henchmen, but the BULLY is too swift for her. He manages to knock the mop aside.

BULLY: OHO! NOW WE REALLY FIGHT! Hiyahhh...

DANIELLA: (responds with an unusual war-cry) WAX ON! (defends against the BULLY's punches) WAX OFF! (counter-hits)

BULLY: Oww! (staggers back)

DANIELLA: Now, for my killer combo!

[MM: to play some Street Fighter-style graphic of Deborah yelling and moving forward, you know, like those Japanese manga...]

[DANIELLA does the painting motions on the BULLY while MM: play rapidly the numbers 1 to 100 hit... end with a dramatic flash: 100 HITS! PERFECT COMBO! (lol) Play the ding-ding-ding sound]

The BULLY turns around and plops face-down to the ground.

The two HENCHMEN quickly grab the BULLY.

HENCHMEN: Boss! We gotta scram! She's too strong!

BULLY: NO WAY! I'M OK! ... OW! My back! My leg! My head! Carry me, you idiots!

HENCHMEN: Aiyah! Die lah! Boss is damn heavy... (they drag him off the stage)

DANIELLA stares at them run away. Then she gasps and remember MIYAGI.

DANIELLA: MIYAGI! Are you ok?

MIYAGI: Yes, I'm ok, thank God. I had worse injuries when I was in the Yakuza.

DANIELLA: OH! You were in the Yakuza last time?! ... You were a gangster? But now, you're so caring!

MIYAGI: Oh! (embarrassedly) Eh... what makes you say so? I'm... not caring. I was a gangster last time before I came to know Christ!

DANIELLA: (as she lifts him up to help him to the doctor, she has a twinkle in her eyes) Well... you've done so many, many, many, many little things for me in the past...
Uncle Miyagi, I remember you told me this before: "Keep doing the little things, because eventually you'll find out that these small things are really The Big Things." (smiles shyly)

(Hope the audience goes AWWWWW at this point!)

MIYAGI: (blushes and stammers) Uh... uh... heheh... well, you're welcome... actually, I don't mind doing... more little things for you in the future. (scratches the back of his head nervously). You know what I mean?

DANIELLA: Oh! Really? (pauses for a while... then suddenly with delight) Oh! MIYAGI-chan! I know what you mean! (drops MIYAGI in stunned delight)

MIYAGI: Ow! My leg! (breaks into laughter) Be careful... DANIELLA-chan!

Both laugh as they walk off the stage.

THE END